Mar 1, 2008

The Evil Empire Attempts to Strike Back...(or why Hank Steinbrenner should learn to shut his mouth)

Alright boys and girls. Time to get back to writing. I was thinking a lot this week what I could write about. Been real busy getting little league baseball and soccer going for Nathan and Drew, catching up on work after being out a week, and clearing things off the honey-do list. Then I wake up this morning and watch SportsCenter and see this following quote from Hank Steinbrenner:

"Red Sox Nation?" Hank says. "What a bunch of [expletive] that is. That was a creation of the Red Sox and ESPN, which is filled with Red Sox fans. Go anywhere in America and you won't see Red Sox hats and jackets, you'll see Yankee hats and jackets. This is a Yankee country. We're going to put the Yankees back on top and restore the universe to order."

Alright, never mind the fact that Hank Steinbrenner is a fat, obnoxious nobody who has ridden the coattails of his windbag father and now takes over the reigns of the best team money can buy. It's already an established fact that the Yankees are the "Evil Empire". That would make old papa George "Darth Sidious" and Hank would be "Darth Maul". (Let's not forget that Darth Maul ended up chopped in half and falling down a dark hole.)

I will give credit where credit is due. At the end of the 90's, the Yankees won 3 of 4 World Series and were the most dominant team around. They also have won many more World Series titles than any other team (a feat they like to talk a lot about). However, they have also consistently spent astronomically more for talent than any other team in baseball and have nothing to show for it this century. King George has finally learned not to run down the farm system and pay for overpriced traitors like Judas Demon (Johnny Damon). While the Yankees are falling down, look who has won 2 World Series in 4 years. Look who unseeded them as the top team in the AL East last year. Look who has more young home grown talent on the field and is beating them with a bunch of kids. The Boston Red Sox. The Rebellion has finally begin to take over and that has Darth George and Hank Maul upset. So what is their reaction, deny the greatness and the depth of the New World Order - The Red Sox Nation.

Go ahead Hank - be ignorant of the truth. It probably is true that the Yankees still sell more apparel than the Red Sox. Lots of people love the Yankees. The Raiders used to sell more than any football team and they suck! However, don't deny the fact that the Red Sox have an army of volunteers and it's growing everyday. I live in Birmingham and I see as many Red Sox hats around the park here as I do the Evil Empire.

And about this ESPN has created the Red Sox Nation thing - come on! The Yankees are almost always one of the first highlights during the baseball season - even when they suck! The media is madly in love with Darth George and his legion of soldiers, Derek "watch me stick out my butt" Jeter, Alex "I cheat on my wife with an exotic dancer" Rodriguez, Joba "I can't pitch with all these flies" Chamberlin, Jason "I sucked ever since they made me stop doing 'roids" Giambi, Johnny "I'm a traitor for money" Damon, and Roger "I got jacked up on 'roids, no I didn't" Clemmens.

The Red Sox dominated last season, they will probably dominate you this season. However, you'll have enough money to buy all the players you want and soon you will win the division and then choke in the playoffs just like you have done every other year this century.

Go Sox!


Haines said...

AMEN BRO! Desperate move by Hank and just goes to show the Yankee organization has ZERO class and they now the tables have turned and Boston is now the center of the MLB universe.

David said...

Glad to see that you are not bitter about the best baseball team in the land there Haines. Go Yanks! Soxs are posers.

Matt Haines said...

your mama is a poser