The Ring Makes All the Difference - A Book Review

I believe one of the most important topics that the church has been silent on for far too long is the topic of cohabitation (i.e. "living together", "shacking up").  It has gone from something that was becoming more commonplace but still very "taboo" in my early 20's, to completely socially accepted and seen as a preferable, if not perfectly valid, substitute for marriage.  Because our culture has completely lost any and all understanding of gender differences, gender roles, and a cohesive and biblical definition of marriage, we are facing a continual onslaught on the union of marriage.  What God's word defines as a very unique union, given and blessed by God, called "marriage" is seen as completely Victorian and old-fashioned today.  Relational unions in our culture are now defined by the preferences of the individual and pragmatism or "whatever works for you" reigns.

Into this picture, enter the book The Ring Makes All the Difference by Glenn Stanton.  Stanton makes a strong and compelling case, based on years of sociological data compiled at many of our countries leading schools, that there is a strong difference between the relational quality of people who are married and those who choose to live together.  The statistics and data given in this book are deep and hard to ignore.  This is not a "religious" book based on "religious" statistics.  Much of Stanton's data come from secular sociologists who have compiled data for over 20 years about relational quality, lifestyle practices, and relational satisfaction between those who have chosen the path of cohabitation versus those who have chosen marriage.  Not all marriages studied were necessarily those of Christians.  The results are not surprising, but overwhelming support that the marriage commitment makes a considerable difference for the better over cohabitation.

This book is a must read for pastors.  This book is a must read for older teenagers and college students. This book is a must read if you have a person in your life that is either in a situation of cohabitation or is considering it.  While some might think that the book has an overly "Christian" slant, it does not.  While Stanton is a believer and does work for Focus on the Family, he saves his biblical argument until the end of the book after presenting a virtual mountain of secular data that support his thesis.  It's time for the church to awaken and address this issue, and this book is a great way to do it.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Moody Publishers, through NetGalley. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

You Really Want to Follow Jesus?

I have been preaching for almost a year now through the Gospel of Luke.  We have been going walking through this gospel asking the question "What is the good news (gospel) that Luke is trying to tell us and how does that affect our lives?"  The past 2 Sundays we have been in one of the most pivotal moments in the gospel in Luke 9:18-27.  At this point in his ministry, Jesus takes his mentorship of the disciples and his requirements for following him to a different level.  He asks the disciples the most important question that everyone has to face in life, "Who do you say that I am?"  Everything in life revolves around getting that answer right.  It's the final exam question that determines whether we pass or fail.  If you get the wrong answer to that question, the rest of your life will be off course with God.

Peter boldly gives the correct answer, "You are the Christ of God."  That answer has multiple layers of implications to it.  If Jesus is not the Christ, the Son of God, then following him is useless.  He was either extremely delusional or deceptive.  However, if Jesus really is the Christ, and you truly believe that, then there are dramatic implications on our lives that follow.  That is why Jesus then gives them the first proclamation of the gospel in verse 22 and then gives them very costly consequences of obedience and following him in verse 23.

Based on this text, I saw three essential elements of true salvation and three essential elements of true discipleship that I preached these past two weeks.

The Essential Elements of True Salvation

1.  True Salvation Requires a Bold Confession of the Person of Christ (verse 18-20) - Just like Peter, we must boldly confess that we too believe that Jesus is the "Christ" of God.  He is the Anointed One.  He is the only begotten Son of God sent from heaven.  He is the sinless Son who came in full obedience to his Father to meet all the righteous requirements of the law and to die in full payment for the sins of man.  We cannot just say that we like Jesus.  We cannot just stop at saying "Yes, Jesus is God's Son", because there are a million other follow-up questions that must be asked.

2.  True Salvation Requires a Deep Conviction in the Gospel of Christ (verse 21-22) - After Peter correctly answered the question about Jesus' personhood, Jesus then gave them a clear proclamation about his work.  We have to fully understand both Jesus person and his work for the gospel to make sense to us.  Jesus tells his disciples that he will be handed over to the religious leaders and killed and rise again three days later.  In Matthew's gospel, he records that at this point Peter tries to interrupt Jesus and tell him that cannot happen. This is not the "Christ" or "Messiah" that Peter and the others had in mind.  It's a reminder that we can know the truth about who Jesus is, but completely miss the truth of what he came to do.  Being truly saved means that we feel a deep conviction in our life about the gospel, that we trust in Christ's payment for our sin, that we by faith fully rely on his work on the cross and trust him as Savior and Lord.

3.  True Salvation Requires a Radical Commitment to Follow After Christ (verse 23-26) - Jesus then ties into the statement about the gospel the radical consequences of those who want to follow him.  He says in essence, "I am going to Jerusalem where they are going to kill me, but I will rise again.  Now, if you want to follow me, forget about yourself, take up your cross, and come on."  This is radical obedience.  And, this is the radical obedience that has been missing for the most part in churches in the American culture for a long time.  I will break these down a little further below in the sermon I preached yesterday.

The Essential Elements of True Discipleship

There are lots of people that like to identify with Jesus somehow.  There are millions in our country that claim allegiance to Christ.  However, it is clear that not all who claim to be "Christians" are truly converted or following him.  Unfortunately,deeply embedded in our American consciousness is the desire to be sovereign over our own lives.  The result is that many try to follow Jesus on their own terms and many churches have become safe havens for the falsely converted and comfortably religious, but lost.  Jesus makes very hefty demands in verses 23-26 on what it truly means to follow him.

1.  True Discipleship Requires a Determined Submission to Follow After Christ (verse 23) - Jesus has already said that the path of following him ends in death and resurrection.  If we want salvation, we have to be willing to die to self and be born again in new life.  Jesus makes this clear when he says if we follow him, we must deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow him.  Self-denial means saying "good-bye" to your former life before meeting Christ.  It means putting your agenda in submission to him.  Taking up your cross is not just having to deal with the troubles of this world, but a complete and daily dying to self.  It means daily confessing that "I am crucified with Christ, and I no longer live."  Following him means that we go where Jesus goes.  We don't determine the direction of our lives.

2.  True Discipleship Requires a Complete Surrender to the Cause of Christ (verse 24-25) - Jesus says that we cannot try to live our lives in such a way to accumulate things for our own significance.  If we try to "save" our lives by our own effort, we will lose them.  But if we "lose" our life in complete surrender to Christ, we find true salvation and purpose as God designed us.  He further illustrates this question with a tragic picture of a man who achieves all the earthly success that he is longing for, but has to give up his eternal soul in the process.  We cannot be surrendered to Jesus and sold out to the things of this world at the same time.

3.  True Discipleship Requires a Courageous Identification with the Person of Christ (verse 26) - Finally, Jesus says that we cannot live our lives ashamed to be associated with him.  We must boldly wear the name of Jesus and bear all the consequences of that.  We must face ridicule, rejection, scorn, criticism, slander, imprisonment, persecution, and even death if necessary because Jesus Christ faced all that for us.  We must passionately reject the cultural Christianity of our day that makes Jesus look like a peace-loving hippie and requires nothing to follow him.

What say you?  Have you thought through the dramatic consequences and costs that Jesus gives to follow him?  Or, have you been the victim of a pasteurized Christianity that has been conveniently sanitized of all the demands on our lives?  Truth is, because of what Jesus has done for us on the cross, I really see no other way to respond other than full allegiance and submission to go wherever he goes, to pay whatever it costs to follow him.

This is the Gospel Project

I am excited about the release of a new curriculum by Lifeway called "The Gospel Project".  There has been a lot of buzz being generated for this release for several months now.  From what I have seen, it may be the best small group curriculum Lifeway has produced in a long time.  Our children's and youth ministry at SSBC is using it this fall.  A couple of our adult classes will be as well.  I would highly encourage all of our Sunday School classes and small groups to give it a try.

They showed this video at the SBC last month that gives an overview of it.

Why I Still Love Summer Camp

Last week I had a very cathartic experience.  Since 1994, I have been taking groups to summer camp almost every summer.  Sometimes they were camps that I planned.  Often they were camps that other organizations planned that I signed my group up for.  In 1998, I developed a long-standing relationship with the guys at Student Life and began sending groups to those camps.  The Student Life offices were just a few miles from my church in the Birmingham area.  I spent many days stopping by to see these guys and gals.  I made friends that I am still connected to today through social networks even though we are all scattered miles apart.

I have lost count on how many times I attended a summer camp with a group.  For a stretch, our church was sending three groups each summer; a middle school group, a high school group, and a group of leaders to help staff another camp. When I left student ministry a few years ago, I had my first camp withdrawal as we sent off students to camp and I wasn't on the bus.  That lasted about three summers until I came to Sixth Street as pastor.

In the summer of 2010, I went as pastor, chaperon, and parent to our kids camp with Student Life.  I had the pleasure of now attending as a dad with my two oldest kids, Nathan and Drew.  It was their first summer camp as well.  They had a blast and had huge spiritual lessons implanted.  I went with the kids last summer as well.  However, this summer, I retired my camp pillow and the late night ushering of kids into their rooms and let some other adults help.  However, I did sneak away from the office one afternoon to drive to camp and check in on the boys (especially son #3 "Pete"; it was his first summer camp).  I got to sing the silly songs and hang out in the cafeteria for the camp food.  It was a great time.

I reflected a lot last week driving home as to why I love and still believe in the power of summer camp. After being at probably more than 25-30 camps, I have heard most of the same sermons, sung hundreds of songs, and seen dozens of camp drama skits.  Here are a few reasons I still send kids to camp:

1.  I want to put as many gospel hooks in the water as I possibly can.  I don't think you can overemphasize the gospel or the word of God in children and student's lives.  But I certainly think you can underemphasize it.   I think as parents we take too much for granted that because our kids attend church and Sunday School that "they are learning about God."  Spiritual lessons need to be reinforced constantly and from multiple sources and angles.  I heard a lot of "God-stuff" growing up as a kid, but it wasn't until I was 17 that I truly understood my sin and need for the gospel.

2.  I want my kids to understand that their spiritual development is my first priority as a parent.  I love that my oldest son Nathan is talented and likes sports.  However, I want him to love Jesus more than I want him to be an all-star.  I want him to be more excited about going to summer camp where he can learn valuable spiritual lessons than he is about going to a baseball camp or hanging at a friends house playing video games all summer.

3.  I want to give my kids some tools in their belt now to prepare them for the war their are about to wage as teenagers.  Parents, our kids are in a battle zone.  In their preteen and teenage years, they will do heavy battle with cultural and spiritual forces that we cannot comprehend.  What are we giving them to prepare them to deal with the peer pressure, the ungodly cultural standards and norms they will face, and the mounting pressure to conform to something very unbiblical?  It saddens me every year to see parents weeping over the choices that their teenage and young adult children are making.  Often when I talk to them about how they prepared themselves and their kids spiritually when they were younger, I get blank stares and religious cliches.  Good intentions will not prepare our kids, godly gospel centered dependency will.

4.  I want my kids to see that there is a place they can be free and have fun that isn't connected to an ipod, a video game, or Disney channel.  I want them to see that the body of Christ should be a fun place defined by grace, freedom, and seeking the glory of God and not just a boring place with people older than them.

These are just a few of my thoughts about why our family sacrificed hundreds of dollars to make sure our kids went to camp.  What thoughts can you add?

A Birthday Worth Celebrating

IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.
He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

Georgia:
   Button Gwinnett
   Lyman Hall
   George Walton
North Carolina:
   William Hooper
   Joseph Hewes
   John Penn
South Carolina:
   Edward Rutledge
   Thomas Heyward, Jr.
   Thomas Lynch, Jr.
   Arthur Middleton
Massachusetts:
  John Hancock
  Samuel Adams
  John Adams
  Robert Treat Paine
  Elbridge Gerry
Maryland:
  Samuel Chase
  William Paca
  Thomas Stone
  Charles Carroll
Virginia:
  George Wythe
  Richard Henry Lee
  Thomas Jefferson
  Benjamin Harrison
  Thomas Nelson, Jr.
  Francis Lightfoot Lee
  Carter Braxton
Pennsylvania:
   Robert Morris
   Benjamin Rush
   Benjamin Franklin
   John Morton
   George Clymer
   James Smith
   George Taylor
   James Wilson
   George Ross
Delaware:
   Caesar Rodney
   George Read
   Thomas McKean
New York:
   William Floyd
   Philip Livingston
   Francis Lewis
   Lewis Morris
New Jersey:
   Richard Stockton
   John Witherspoon
   Francis Hopkinson
   John Hart
   Abraham Clark
New Hampshire:
   Josiah Bartlett
   William Whipple
   Matthew Thornton
Rhode Island:
   Stephen Hopkins
   William Ellery
Connecticut:
   Roger Sherman
   Samuel Huntington
   William Williams
   Oliver Wolcott

A little more Calvin

Why My Kids Aren't On Facebook

Social media has revolutionized much of our communication in the last 7-8 years.  I remember when I first started hearing about "Facebook" from my college students several years ago.  Although I wasn't in college at the time, I received an invite from one of them when it was opened to non-college students and have been on ever since.  I joined Twitter in 2008 after reading about it on a blog.  For the first few months, I tweeted although everyone reading my tweets I knew absolutely nothing about.  I love to surf through my "tweeps" each day. I get links to great blogs and articles.  I have met some new friends through Twitter. I use Facebook each day to connect to family members, church members, and many old friends through the years.

However, right now my sons are not allowed on Facebook.  My oldest 2 have Twitter accounts, but they haven't really become addicted to them yet.  Now if you keep up with me on Facebook, you know that my oldest son Nathan has a FB account.  However, you will also notice that he hasn't posted anything on it for over a year.  Let me explain why?

A few years ago, my son Nathan asked me if he could get a Facebook account.  Some of his friends from the church and school were on FB and talked about it.  I talked it over with Alison and we decided that we would monitor his friends list and what he was posting.  So we signed him up for an account.  Then I had to face a decision that I later regretted.  The Facebook policies state that authorized users must at least 13 years old.  In order to enforce this policy, I had to enter in my son's birthday.  However, in order to make it work, I had to lie about my son's birthday so that Facebook would think he was at least 13.  He was 10 at the time.  Like many parents, I want my son to have the same things all his friends have.  I justified my action by the usual "all the other parents are doing the same thing" excuse. 

So, we signed him up and he began connecting online.  But I spent the next few months mulling through the actions I just committed and the lessons I was teaching my sons.  Soon after, son #2 began to ask when he could have a Facebook.  Then #3.  Every time I looked at my son's profile page, I had to live with the decision that I lied in order to let him have access.  What was I teaching my kids?

• That it's ok to lie about some things as long as it doesn't harm anyone.
• That it's ok to conform to peer pressure in some situations.
• That abiding by policies is conditional upon whether you agree with them or not.
• That if you can get away with something without getting caught it may be worth trying.

This is not the way that I want to parent.  These are not the lessons I want to teach my kids.  I don't want to model for my children "situational ethics."  I want my children to believe that the man in the pulpit is a man who practices what he preaches.  I want them to know that even though it is often hard and costly, it's always the best thing to follow what God says, even in the small things.  Lying, dishonesty, and cheating are never acceptable.

I want my life and my parenting to be modeled by God's word.  Proverbs 10:9 says "Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out."  Proverbs 20:7 says "The righteous who walks in his integrity— blessed are his children after him!"  I want my kids to walk in that blessing of my integrity.  Even if they don't understand it right now.  Even if most of their other friends are doing something different.  So, we deactivated Nathan's Facebook.  We had a talk with him about why he couldn't have a Facebook yet.  I told him I didn't agree with the policy, but it wasn't my policy.  I also asked him to forgive me for modeling for him a life characterized by lying.  He reluctantly agreed and we deactivated it.  (Now, one day I accidentally signed on as him and reactivated it. I can't remember his password, so it stayed activated, but he's not allowed on it.)

Parents, I write these things not to say that I am a better parent or that parents who let their kids get a Facebook are bad parents.  I don't think you have necessarily led your child down a road to hell just because you let your 9 year old get a Facebook.  However, I just ask you to think through what lessons you are teaching your kids and what they may retain.  How will this action affect your parenting in the future?  What grounds do you have to tell your kids not to lie if you lie for them to get a Facebook account?  Every week I get another friend invite from an under-age kid.  I know that Facebook knows it's going on and that policing age policies is not high on their priority list  Personally, I wish they would change the policy so that I can let my kids get on.  But until the policy changes, I must abide by it because in some ways, my children's integrity is at stake. 

The Fine Art of Ministry Leadership

As I now get deeper into my 40's, I find myself more and more on the teaching end of ministry to younger ministers that God has entrusted to my care.  One of the things I see in many of them that I recognized in myself many years ago is the tension to get frustrated with the process of doing ministry, especially ministry in long-established churches like the one I currently serve in.  Oftentimes when we are young we forget about taking the time to remember that while we may have all the right theology and all the right methodology, we also have to work through deeply established patterns and procedures.  In some cases, attitudes, values, and behaviors have been ingrained for decades and across many generations.  Somewhere in my 20 year ministry pilgrimage, God began to reveal to me the fine art of leading through some of these difficult waters.  Here are a few lessons about being a leader I find myself passing along often:

1.  Being the leader often means that you see most matters long before everyone else.  That's part of being the leader.  You are in a leadership position probably because you have an ability to see things long before most others do.  It may be that you have a hightened sense of discernment.  It may be because you are much more well-read on the topic than everyone else.  Whatever the case, leadership is about getting everyone else to see the same thing you saw a long time ago.

2.  Being the leader often means that you see things clearer than most everyone else.  Not only can you see long before, but you often have a clearer sense of how things should go and how everything should function.  I often have said, "I always think I am right, and most of the time I am."  That's because I have found that God has given me strong leadership gifts.  Some of this giftedness is the ability to see the big picture of something God has birthed in me much clearer than everyone else.  Leadership is about helping to sketch out the picture for everyone and then begin to color in the lines.  Many times young leaders get so frustrated because the people around them can't see everything like they do.  However, have you taken the time to color in the picture for them?  Work to bring color and clarity before you ask for buy-in.

3.  Being the leader often means that you see things with greater urgency than most everyone else.  This is especially true in the church world.  We are often dealing with matters of eternal consequence. We often deal with matters of deep doctrinal conviction. In a business world if a bad decision is made, it could cost the company a lot of dollars.  In the church world if a bad decision is made, it could cost someone eternity with God. This urgency creates in most leaders a great deal of impatience with people who don't get it.  This impatience can cost us trust and leverage with the very people we are trying to lead.  It's important to learn to distinguish between what is urgent and what is critical.

Learning the fine art of ministry leadership takes time and trial and error.  It requires growing in the area of wisdom which often occurs the longer we work in ministry.  It requires a teachable spirit and praying for God to lead you as you lead others.  However, I have found that this type of leadership is a learned art.  It's not something that you are either born with or not.  Oftentimes it is an acquired skill. The sooner you put these lessons to memory, hopefully, the better your ministry leadership will be. 

"Viral" by Leonard Sweet - A Book Review

A couple of months ago I received a copy of Leonard Sweet's new book Viral: How Social Networking Is Poised to Ignite Revival.  I am not an avid reader of all of Sweet's books, but because I am active on Facebook and Twitter, this title intrigued me.  Sweet is a professor at Drew University and one of the leading thinkers on issues related to the church and the culture.  He is extremely intelligent and also a major influence on many in the more postmodern and emerging streams of the church.

Sweet is notorious in his books for basing the themes of the materials around acronyms and this book is no different.  The entire book is a discussion of what Sweet calls the "TGIF" world, which stands for Twitter, Google, iPhone, and Facebook.  This is because these are the major cultural forces in today's social network culture.  Sweet does a masterful job in the opening pages showing how "the times are a' changing".  He does so by describing that currently we are in the merging of two different cultures - what he calls the Guttenbergers and the Googlers.  The Guttenburgers are those who have grown up in an era that was more modern and heavily influenced by words - the printing press era of Johanes Guttenberg.  The Googlers, on the other hand, have grown up primarily in the internet age and the information revolution.  It is really a fascinating read.

Then, in the successive chapters, Sweet describes how each of these four entities are shaping the world we live in.  More importantly, he describes how church leaders and Christians should interpret these events and use them to engage the culture better and spark a real spiritual revival.  Far from seeing "the days gone by" as the best days, Sweet shows how the church is poised to step in and offer the gospel in new and powerful ways.  While I don't agree with much of Sweet's underlying theological positions, I do appreciate his optimism regarding the power of social media.

This book has many strengths.  For people like me who have one foot in both worlds, we can better appreciate many of the cultural changes going on around us through reading Viral.  It helps to shed a great deal of light on sociological areas that many in the church never take the time to research and understand.  This book is written with a great deal of optimism which is a refreshment in a church culture that spends most of our time bemoaning the times and wishing we could go back to the good ol' days.  Theologically, the book is very weak.  Sweet has very little use for traditional methods of preaching and doctrinal silos. There is an amorphous understanding of salvation and the gospel in his writings.  There are few answers given on a practical level as to how established churches can better use social networking to advance the gospel.  Overall, however, the book is an enjoyable and informative read.  It would benefit a lot of pastors who are functionally illiterate about the power of social networking to reach a world that embraced these entities many years ago.  Like many things in the Christian world, we came to the social networking party a few years too late. 

I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.

A great day for Baptists

Yesterday, the Southern Baptist Convention had one of it's finest hours. It has been a much anticipated and hyped up buildup to the election of Fred Luter as our next president.  Luter is being celebrated mostly because he is the first African-American to be elected president of the SBC.  This is a denomination which stated over division among Baptists in colonies whether slave owners could play a significant role in missions efforts.  The issue of slavery led us to withdraw from our Baptist brethren and form a new organization that would become one of the largest denominations and one of the greatest missionary forces on the planet.  The SBC publicly repented years of that poor decision years ago, but still has had a hard time overcoming the stereotype and bringing predominantly Black churches into the SBC.

Luter is the right man for the job, and not just because of the color of his skin.  Fred Luter has been a shining star in the SBC for many years.  He has led a church that has baptized thousands and is a major force in the city of New Orleans.  He has traveled for years preaching on the SBC Evangelism Conference and Annual Meetings circuit.  He is a faithful teacher of God's word and a gracious, humble leader.  Now he will lead our Convention of churches - no small task for such a divided group.

Congratulations Fred Luter and Southern Baptists!  For one brief moment, we stopped our squabbling and posturing and did something right. (Then we started arguing about changing the name)

Thoughts about my Dad

Yesterday was Father's Day - one of the most underwhelming holidays on our national scene.  As I said in my sermon yesterday, most of the time when it's Mother's Day the pastor preaches on the virtues of godly mothers.  However, on Father's Day, he berates the few dads that actually showed up at church with their families for not doing enough.  Being a father of 4, I am extremely honored to be called "Dad".  As I reflected on Father's Day, I had some thoughts about my Dad I wanted to put on my blog.  However, since I spent all day either at church or traveling on the road to New Orleans, I didn't get the chance.  And since my dad doesn't own a computer and has never been on the Internet in his life and has no idea what a blog is, putting them up a couple of days late won't hurt.

I love my dad.  In many ways, he has become a very good friend.  He was for the most part a fun dad and is a fun grandad to my kids. He has always had an amazing sense of humor and the ability to make friends with almost anyone anywhere he finds himself.  The older I get, the more I turn into my dad.  My wife laughs all the time when we stand next to each other with the same pot bellies.  I say the same statements to my kids that my dad said to me all the time.  I find myself rolling my eyes and sighing just like he used to do whenever my kids or wife are taking too long. 

Here are a few things where my dad's influence shows up the most:
I got my passionate love for Mississippi State sports from him.  Although he grew up in Michigan and moved here in his 20's, my dad quickly adopted the Bulldogs as his favorite team south of the Mason-Dixon.  I remember spending many days with my dad going to Bulldog double headers at Dudy Noble Field.  I remember when MSU defeated then #1 Alabama in 1980 and my dad went screeching down the road blaring the horn.  It isn't often that we talk that something related to sports in Starkville isn't brought up.
I got my love for the game of baseball and all the intricacies of the game from him.  My dad is a baseball trivia junkie.  He loved the Detroit Tigers growing up and still does.  His hero was Al Kaline.  Mine was Pete Rose.  My dad was an umpire for about 20 years because he loved the game.  One of my vivid memories was that my dad subscribed to Baseball Digest all my younger years.  When he would finish with it, he would give it to me.  I would read through the profiles on players, but my favorite was reading the "You Make the Call" section and listening to my dad explain the rules of the game to me. 
I got my fascination with the mail and the postal service from him.  For most of my life, my dad was a postman in Columbus, MS.  He delivered routes all over my hometown and everyone knew "Ol' Blue".  When I was a kid and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I always answered "a postman" because that's what my dad was.  Even to this day, I eagerly go out to the mail box to see what awaits me in there.  When I moved away to seminary, I received a card almost every week from my dad in my post office box.
I learned to love fishing from my dad.  When I was a kid, we would pack up the fishing poles and a bucket of crickets and go fishing for bream and crappie. We would catch dozens of them and then deliver them to the widowed, African-American ladies on his postal route.

For many years, I was concerned about where my dad stood with Jesus.  I came to faith in God in my later teenage years and would often hear from people in my church how much they were praying for my dad.  He didn't go to church often, but he did come to hear me preach my first sermon. A few years ago, my dad was diagnosed with testicular cancer.  It was a very big awakening for him. God used this to draw my dad unto himself.  He found the grace of Christ in his late 50's.  One of my greatest memories in ministry is baptizing my dad and step-mom.

I know you won't read this dad, but I hope you had a great Father's Day and I hope you know how proud I am to be called your son. 

Father Hunger - A Book Review

Recently I received a copy of the book Father Hunger: Why God Calls Men to Love and Lead their Families.  I was looking forward to this book because I thought it was an update to a book I read with the same title by Robert McGee many years ago.  However, when I received the book, I soon noticed that it was a completely different book on the same important topic.  When I first read through the Table of Contents, I thought it wouldn't be a boring read.  However, I was pleasantly surprised.  It is written along the same vein as another good book on manhood I recently read, The Masculine Mandate by Richard Phillips.

This book is a solidly biblical treatment about a major crisis in our culture - a generation that is growing up with no idea of what biblical fatherhood means.  Not only does the author, Doug Wilson, show the usual father crises - absentee fathers, disconnected fathers, etc.  He also shows that there is a disturbing dearth of understanding the biblical role and mandate of fathers.  Wilson's treatment of the biblical role of a father will sound extremely strange to many who would read it. In a culture where being a father is little more than simply engaging in the act of procreation, the concepts and responsibilities outlined by Wilson will be foreign, radical, even oppressive to some.  However, they are deeply true.  The Christ-follower who reads this book from a desire to see God honored will resonate with the truths while at the same time finding them sorely lacking in his or her own life.

Wilson shows how this absence of biblically functioning fathers affects all institutions and areas of society - churches, families, crime, education, and many others.  He uses many examples from Scripture about fathers who understood their role on a deeply personal and biblical level.  He shows how our rejection of God's word as a strong basis in our society has led to a radical realtering of families, the roles of men and women, the moral and spiritiual development of our children, and many other areas.  I found as I was reading this book a great deal of personal sadness.  Our culture is now suffering from many successive generations that have been starving of Father Hunger and it leaves me wondering if things can ever really change.  I pray by God's grace they will. 

Men, this book is hard and painful to read.  It is deep, but it is necessary.  If you are starving from your own personal father issues and want to change the future of yourself and your family, get this book.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com <http://BookSneeze®.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Go to the Dominican Republic with Me

For the past two years, I have had the privilege of being involved in SCORE International's Baseball Outreach in the Dominican Republic.  It is an awesome time of missions, ministry, and encouragement. I would recommend any man, whether you like baseball or not, to consider going.  I am trying to get another team to go in the fall.  If you would like to go, let me know.  Watch this video to see what SCORE is doing in the DR.

Women and Clothes - Jeff Allen

This is a great bit by Jeff Allen on women and "closet vision".  This is all too familiar.

When Did I Get So Old?

I have been spending a lot of time this past week asking myself where time has gone and how did I get so old so quickly.  Now I know that some of you will chuckle and tell me that "43 is not old", and I would agree.  However, my good friend Jason Seales likes to remind me all the time that I am no longer a "young pastor".  God has blessed me with many reminders lately of my age and my blessings and fruit in ministry.

Recently, our church hired a new Worship Pastor who is 21 years old.  Allen is extremely talented and mature for his age.  However, he is also so young.  Now with him, I have a 21 year old worship leader, a 31 year old youth pastor, and 24 year old children's minister.  I recently joked with my staff that I was going to get them all "sippee cups" with the church logo on them.  I find myself often having to be the "old sage" who gives advice.  It's a fun and honored place to be, but it is also a reminder of how well I need to lead them as they lead others.

Also, I have recently had some milestones in several of my former students from my youth ministry days.  One of my former students got married last weekend.  His brother is getting married in August.  I have two other weddings from former students that I am performing this fall.  I do about 2-3 weddings of former students each year.  I am seeing baby pictures on Facebook from former students on a weekly basis.  I have four former students that are currently in seminary studying for ministry and one that is starting in the fall.  I have a former student that is serving in South America as a missionary right now.  Another former student is spending two weeks this summer in Niger.  All of this is a gracious reminder to me from my Lord that not only am I getting older, but that God's grace will eventually provide for all ministers the ability to enjoy the fruits of their labors. 

In my family, I look at my oldest son and am humbled.  He's 12 years old and is 5'7" and weighs over 200 pounds.  He's already wearing a bigger shoe than me!  He starts middle school in the fall.  That is surreal.  All four of my boys are growing so fast. 

I find myself now going to bed hoping that I only wake up one time to go to the bathroom.  I hear popping in joints I didn't know I had.  I tried shagging outfield balls for my sons baseball team this year and bruised my heel and couldn't walk for three days.  Last week I even found myself watching a documentary on PBS.

When did I get so old?

P.S. Anyone have any Metamucil?

Don't Stop Relievin' - Song for Mariano

If you read this blog, you know that I am a big Red Sox fan and an even bigger Yankee hater.  I have hated the Yankees since I started watching baseball almost 40 years ago.  However, while I don't like the Yankees, I have tremendous respect for Mariano Rivera and what he has accomplished.  I had the privilege of meeting him two years ago in the Dominican Republic.  He's the real deal and a strong follower of Jesus.

This is a song for Mo set to the tune of Journey's Don't Stop Believing.  It's pretty funny.  This is for my Yankee friends out there.

Bravo Josh, Bravo...

Josh Hamilton has become my favorite baseball player for the past few years because of both his incredible talent and his unique story.  He is a flawed hero who unashamedly uses his brokenness as a vehicle to tell others about Jesus Christ.  He had a record night last night.  Enjoy the video below.

Judging Rightly

My sermon yesterday was from Luke 6:37-45 on Jesus' teaching about judging other people's sin.  This is often one of the most mis-quoted and misunderstood verses in the Bible.  Almost everyone quotes this at one time or another.  People who don't know any other verses of Scripture except "Jesus wept" are fond of pulling this one out whenever they need some sort of vindication or justification for their personal sin.  However, is that what Jesus meant when he said "Judge not, and you will not be judged"?  Was Jesus advocating an attitude towards others that never calls into question unwise decisions, misguided living, or blatant sin?  Was Jesus advocating that each person's life is completely a personal matter and that nobody ever has a right to question another's lifestyle choices? 

Certainly not.  This is another classic example of not understanding Scripture in context and only taking one verse and building a theology off it.  Jesus also taught in the verses following in Luke 6 about fruit and judging the health of a tree by the quality of its fruit.  Our society and law requires an accurate system of investigation and judgment in order to maintain law.  How do we justify that the pedophile who destroys many lives by his actions is guilty and deserving of punishment while the guy who unwisely drinks more alcohol than he should and destroys his personal life and relationships around him does not deserve some sort of correction?  How do we say that the corporate head who leads his company in millions of dollars of unwise investments that cost taxpayers billions to bail out is worthy of condemnation while we should turn our eyes from the average Joe who cheats on his taxes?  The reality of life is that because we are all humans, we are accountable to one another for our choices and actions because we do not live in a vacuum.  All of our choices have consequences to ourselves and others.   

Jesus does not condemn judging when it consists of accurately assessing a situation and then seeking to help someone who is making choices that are harmful to himself or others physically or spiritually.  Its basic and inherent to the Christian heart that has been transformed by the gospel to want to be a conduit of grace and forgiveness to others.  As a matter of fact, I believe if you are cold and indifferent to other people's sinful choices then you probably don't understand the gospel.  What Jesus condemns is a cold, judgmentalism that seeks to justify yourself by constantly putting down other people, standing in a condemnation over them.  This was the righteousness of the Pharisees.  They were religious without grace.  They wore their religious badges proudly, but missed out on the sessions about mercy and justice.  Sadly, this is also what many in the unchurched culture see from those who attend church.  They see us as piously looking down our noses in condemnation while we forget that at one time "we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another." (Titus 3:3).  We forget the truth and power of Ephesians 2:3-4 which says:

"among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.  But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ - by grace you have been saved - and raised us up with him and seated us in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus."

Jesus illustrated the kind of judgment we should exercise with the familiar illustration of the speck and the log.  He said for us not to try and help remove the debris in other's lives until we are actively aware and removing the obvious debris in our own.   This is why we all need an constant understanding of our personal depravity and the excessive goodness of God's grace.  While God doesn't want us to dwell in self-pity because of the sinful choices we've made, he wants us to keep the reminder of what we have been forgiven of to motivate us to engage in aggressive and violent war against the sin in our members so we can have leverage by which to help others in their sin.  This is the essence of judging rightly.  People will be much more open to the reality of their sin and to the truth of the gospel when they see God's people come from a position of graciously forgiven sinners instead of pious, condescending Pharisees.  This isn't easy though.  The longer we move from our justification experience, the easier it is to forget the terror of standing before the righteous Judge.  The more we craft an image of God as a gentle, benevolent grandfather, the harder it is to remember that our continuing sins are still a terrible affront to his holiness.

How about you?  How easy do you find it to judge without being judgmental?  Do you lean too much to the judgmental Pharisee side or too much to the tolerant, non-confrontational side?  Have you learned the tender art of speaking the truth in love?

A Little More Calvin

This is one of my all-time favorite Calvin and Hobbes strips.

A little Calvin

Can you relate somewhat to this? I certainly can.